Love Robot

What Deepak Taught Me about Beard Trimmers and the stories we tell ourselves  

“Nothing is so mundane that it cannot be a source of wonder, creativity, love, and the deep satisfaction of being alive, here and now.”

I came across these words in Deepak Chopra’s enewsletter Reinventing Life. They sank into me and inspired me to look at things differently—including a beard trimmer and a story I told myself about my husband’s “tone.”

The trimmer sits in our bathroom. I’ve glanced down at it many times without seeing it. But this time, I stopped, stared and saw a robot. Two screws for eyes underneath a flattop of metal hair and a tiny rectangular mouth. How had I not seen this before? Wouldn’t it be hilarious for Edwin and the boys to walk in here and discover this little guy turned into a robot? I could use pipe cleaners to make arms, maybe have them holding something …

The thought led to action, and I went to our collection of pipe cleaners squirreled away by my two boys. A red one jumped out immediately—perfect for twisting into a heart the arms can hold. In five minutes, I turned a beard trimmer into a whimsical love robot. The act of creating this simple, silly thing thrilled me. I couldn’t wait for my family to find it.

When the boys got home, my youngest, Charlie, found it first. “Mom, did you make that robot in the bathroom?!” I told him about seeing the trimmer and all my thoughts leading to its creation. “That’s a lot of thoughts, Mom,” he said with an eyeroll. But he loved it and agreed to keep quiet so it could be a surprise for his brother and father.

My oldest boy, Jackson, found it next. “Mom, that robot is adorable!” He gave me one of his anaconda hugs. He could barely contain all the adorableness flooding his senses. We were all eager for Dad to get home and find the robot too.

But a few hours later, robot forgotten, Edwin was home and busy working on his phone. I was busy cooking—everyone was busy. Edwin began to speak to me in a frustrated tone about our health care benefits and his exasperation with the PCP situation, the lack of appointment availability and the overall complications of our marketplace health plan.

I immediately took it personally and told myself he was criticizing me for signing us up for this plan. How unjust! I was lured by the thought that I should be offended by his tone and by the way he was speaking to me. I can’t help that our benefit plan options are not helpful or easy to use. I did a lot of work to research all the options and get us signed up for the plan that he’s now questioning me about. The story of unfairness and indignation gathered steam in my mind.

Where had my joy in the beard trimmer gone?

“Stop,” I told myself. “Realize this is just a story.” I was writing my own Siren’s song. There was no issue here, no need to crash my ship into rocks of discord. And in that moment, I put down the story I’d been telling myself. I turned my focus to the present moment, to the sizzling pan in front of me and to how much I love this amazing man to whom I’m married.

The shift instantly brought the robot back into my mind. Edwin hadn’t seen it yet, and I wanted to share it with him.

“Love, have you been into our bathroom? I left a little surprise in there for you.” He looked at me skeptically with raised eyebrows. “Not a toilet bowl surprise! A sweet surprise.” Still suspicious, he headed to the bathroom. Of course, I followed.

As soon as he saw it, he started laughing, reached out and pulled me into his arms. I told him how I’d seen the trimmer and made this silly thing for him and the boys. He thanked me and with a kiss told me how much he loved it. We moved into the rest of our evening with smiles on our faces and joy in our hearts.

The earlier conversation and any perceived frustration had evaporated. I had taken his tone and words from before personally when they weren’t about me. I had created a story in my mind about him criticizing me. And perhaps he had been in a mood, and my creation transformed it. Giving him the robot certainly transformed my mood. Regardless, when I could have chosen to be irritated or turn nothing into an argument, I chose instead to tell a different story.

Multiple times that day, I paused and held still in the present moment—the moment to let the mundane reveal something wonderful, the moment to let it inspire me to create something new and joyful, the moment to realize my story is always just that, and the moment to give love freely.

Thank you, Deepak Chopra, for reminding me to stop and see the positive possibilities always available for us to create in every moment and to remember I always have the choice what story I tell myself.

I choose the love robot story.