what SHIRLEY AND TITA TAUGHT ME ABOUT BRINGING LOVING INTENTION TO ANY ACTIVITY

Years ago, for my college PE credit, I took my first yoga class. Shirley Early, the fittest, most peaceful 60-something woman I’d ever encountered, taught us how to flow through sun salutations, back bends, arm balances and other impossible contortions, all with her red hair pinned up in an elegant twist. She forever hooked me on the practice of yoga – and made me want to be her when I hit that age.

Gentle ginger Shirley would often say, “Now, before we begin, set an intention for the class.” Her words have been echoed many times by the countless younger, tattooed and pierced instructors I’ve had over my more than 30 years of yoga practice. And every time, I find intention adds purpose to the activity. I especially like to set my intention on people in my life – maybe a friend I haven’t seen in a while or a family member who needs support. Even someone with whom I struggle.

I set my intention on them and hold them close in my heart. It’s particularly helpful to come back to them when I want to stop holding that fifth chair pose. What if holding this damn pose just a little longer could bring miracles into their lives? I can hold it a little longer.

In this way, my loving intention toward another motivates me to push myself and helps keep me present – for a few moments, at least.

But despite my marginal success at presence on the yoga mat, I regularly forget to be present in the chaotic flow of normal life. I’m on auto-pilot, mindlessly going through the motions so I can get on to the next thing. Or I’m consumed with my ego’s what-ifs and if-onlys rather than embracing my immediate reality.

Every moment I’m not present, I miss opportunities to open fully to God’s divine power to flow through, around, and within me. I know this because when I have managed to actually dwell in the present moment, I have felt the wonder of the love, creativity, and connection that comes from our one Source. Joy naturally wells up, and just like in yoga, everything flows.

Not being a yogini or enlightened person of any kind, I find the act of being present, of connecting with God, sometimes evades me through traditional spiritual and religious channels. I’m a Gen X child of Top 10 lists, and I’m not afraid to admit I need tricks – tricks like acronyms or rhymes that helped me memorize the periodic table in college. In this case, mental games that take me out of my ego-infested head space and help me find the flow of God’s loving connection.

As in yoga, taking a second to consciously feel my breath interrupts the incessant thought-hamsters wheeling through my head. Even better if I can remember to set a loving intention for whatever I’m doing. No matter how ordinary the task, I can transform it into a blessing and reinforce the one directive underscoring every action God nudges me to take – Connect through love.

For instance, the minute I set an intention for the marketing plan I’m putting together for a client – this is for my husband and my boys – the act of doing becomes a gift. The more focus I bring to typing the words and formulating the strategy, the more joyful the activity becomes because it’s for them. The ideas flow more easily. The enthusiasm of the doing in turn positively feeds my interactions with everyone around me.

When I’m running late, sometimes I try setting an intention for the other drivers around me. Instantly, my stress evaporates. I imagine my dear friends in the cars next to me and send them positive vibes as we jostle together for the fastest lane. I don’t snarl when one of them slows down in front of me to a speed only my grandmother would drive. I remember my intention instead.

I’ve cleaned my child’s red velvet cake barf from a beige shag carpet and a sink drain at 5 am and found myself smiling. Not because I ever want to repeat the activity, but because I brought presence and intention to the doing. Presence made the cleanup interesting (believe it or not) and intention made it a blessing for my sick child.

I especially love setting an intention when I cook. Years ago, I read Laura Esquivel’s Like Water for Chocolate. In the novel, the main character, Tita, pours her emotions into everything she makes. Anyone eating her food physically experiences her sorrow, desire, or whatever emotion she feels as she cooks.

I have since wondered, What if I could cook my loving intentions into my food, so that they become reality for the recipients? I like to believe in the possibility of God working through me like that, of transforming my intention into something more than a mental trick.

I learned recently that a friend of mine is struggling with her mother’s health. I instantly knew I wanted to bake for them. Specifically, scones – ridiculously delicious, nutritionally negligible wedges of buttery goodness that only serve one purpose, to lift the spirits of the eater. I cannot solve their challenges, but I can cook my love for them into a batch of scones.

As I cut butter into the flour mixture and zested citrus for my favorite cranberry orange scones, I thought about these two women. I visualized them joyful and healed as I cracked eggs and whisked them into the cream, as I mixed, molded, and cut the dough. By the time, I finished glazing the golden-brown triangles, I’d poured my love, strength, and support into every step of the process. I don’t know what they experienced when they ate these purpose-filled pastries, but with the tight hug I received upon delivery, I know they felt my intention.

When I connect to the present moment through my doing, I find the divine within, feel the infinite possibility of God. When I transform my everyday actions into mindful gifts for others, I stoke a fire of abundance that burns for them and me.

My ego tells me it’s all just a mind gimmick. It’s not real. But I’ll keep using my tricks because projecting out my loving intentions feels right. Whatever the task – cooking, working, cleaning bright red vomit – I believe that seeding my actions with focused presence and loving awareness makes them powerful.

Ok, deep breath. It’s time to set my intention.

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